Monday, July 4, 2016

The Adventures of Rie-Man, Teenage Edition #43

Rie: We need more dirt.
Me: Oh I know... I can split a bunch more of these hostas, and I really wanted to complete the front landscaping, I feel like this planting season got away from me, though....

[blank look, actually, a unique "Why are you saying these things?" blank look]

Me: What? [I wake up from my dream that my teenage son cares about my gardening goals] NO. No, you do NOT need more dirt. THIS is a yard, not a track!

Rie: uhhh ok
Me: And what the hell is that?
Rie: a berm, it provides support -
Me: Why does my yard need that?
Rie: I thought you might want to plant flowers around the back of it. I just need to make it higher, that's why I need more dirt...
Me: You are so full of shit. THIS IS A YARD!

[looks closer...]

Me: Is this? Are there... WHY ARE THERE RAKE MARKS IN MY YARD?
[Emmo picks THIS unfortunate moment to walk into the YARD]

Emmo: Oh, Mom, that's the track, we're building a -


Rie: Mom's having trouble adjusting.
Me: Don't talk, Rie.
Rie: Mom, look at the bright side, we circled your "side yard" making it all nice and cozy -
Emmo; like a cocoon -

Me: Emerson, hand me one of your swords.

Emmo: uhh they're all broken... Rie, RUN!

Just sayin'

*full disclaimer, this happened in May but Aunt Lu's comment reminded me that I never finished or published it :)

Friday, July 1, 2016

Five Reasons I'm Decidedly Still DM

5. The last time I posted was in APRIL. I'm overwhelmed to the point of writer's block when I think about all of the updating that would be appropriate. But I can see the light. Quarter 2 is always the busiest time of year for me. This year, Q2 was ... busy... tough... expensive... overwhelming... but OVER. (And that was just AT HOME, lol.)

4. Both of my teenage yahoos are so tall that they downright tower over me now. Yet I still rule this joint with the squint of my eye. My right one.

3. My job challenges me to succeed every single day of my life and for that, I am very grateful.  I wake up most work days thinking about what I will accomplish that day. I'm still excited when I go to 3 day conferences about BANKING and learn something knew or inspiring. AND I still get to talk to hundreds a people a week and help them with their money.

2. I have been going out. It's very nice to not live like an exhausted hermit all the time. That's all I'm going to write about that because I don't feel like sharing a damn thing.

1. This is one of the best profiles that I have ever written:

And here is where we pick up the story: life had settled into a pretty good pattern, the journey was good, the destination unknown. And THAN: I buy a house in the country, on an acre, in a small, small town. And then a dog. And some dirt bikes, knives, and guns. We had the summer of our lives. Now: fumbling towards normal-ish, maybe nothing really resembling normal, whatever. Praying as we go, that I survive the newest territory of all: parenting teenagers.

The teenage years have, thus far, been MY FAVORITE PART OF PARENTING YET. Summer number TWO is proving to be every bit as great as last summer. The damned dog is my *pretty girl* and I stubbornly love her like crazy. All in all, I'm calling the quarter a win.

Life is good. 

Yours truly, dufus maximus.

Just sayin'.