Monday, July 4, 2016

The Adventures of Rie-Man, Teenage Edition #43

Rie: We need more dirt.
Me: Oh I know... I can split a bunch more of these hostas, and I really wanted to complete the front landscaping, I feel like this planting season got away from me, though....

[blank look, actually, a unique "Why are you saying these things?" blank look]

Me: What? [I wake up from my dream that my teenage son cares about my gardening goals] NO. No, you do NOT need more dirt. THIS is a yard, not a track!

Rie: uhhh ok
Me: And what the hell is that?
Rie: a berm, it provides support -
Me: Why does my yard need that?
Rie: I thought you might want to plant flowers around the back of it. I just need to make it higher, that's why I need more dirt...
Me: You are so full of shit. THIS IS A YARD!

[looks closer...]

Me: Is this? Are there... WHY ARE THERE RAKE MARKS IN MY YARD?
[Emmo picks THIS unfortunate moment to walk into the YARD]

Emmo: Oh, Mom, that's the track, we're building a -


Rie: Mom's having trouble adjusting.
Me: Don't talk, Rie.
Rie: Mom, look at the bright side, we circled your "side yard" making it all nice and cozy -
Emmo; like a cocoon -

Me: Emerson, hand me one of your swords.

Emmo: uhh they're all broken... Rie, RUN!

Just sayin'

*full disclaimer, this happened in May but Aunt Lu's comment reminded me that I never finished or published it :)


  1. You've seen those prisoner handcuffs with the belly chain attached right...need a pair?