Me: Oh I know... I can split a bunch more of these hostas, and I really wanted to complete the front landscaping, I feel like this planting season got away from me, though....
[blank look, actually, a unique "Why are you saying these things?" blank look]
Me: What? [I wake up from my dream that my teenage son cares about my gardening goals] NO. No, you do NOT need more dirt. THIS is a yard, not a track!
Rie: uhhh ok
Me: And what the hell is that?
Rie: a berm, it provides support -
Me: Why does my yard need that?
Rie: I thought you might want to plant flowers around the back of it. I just need to make it higher, that's why I need more dirt...
Me: You are so full of shit. THIS IS A YARD!
[looks closer...]
Me: Is this? Are there... WHY ARE THERE RAKE MARKS IN MY YARD?
[Emmo picks THIS unfortunate moment to walk into the YARD]
Emmo: Oh, Mom, that's the track, we're building a -
Me: THIS IS A YARD. NOT A TRACK.
Rie: Mom's having trouble adjusting.
Me: Don't talk, Rie.
Rie: Mom, look at the bright side, we circled your "side yard" making it all nice and cozy -
Emmo; like a cocoon -
Me: Emerson, hand me one of your swords.
Emmo: uhh they're all broken... Rie, RUN!
Just sayin'
~DM
*full disclaimer, this happened in May but Aunt Lu's comment reminded me that I never finished or published it :)
You've seen those prisoner handcuffs with the belly chain attached right...need a pair?
ReplyDeleteI need TWO pair.
ReplyDelete