I was surprisingly emotionally affected, just as everyone else has been, by Kira (Bear) getting mauled by a dog she spent everyday with - the absolute, all-encompassing feeling of love for this little girl and the equally visceral reaction of pain it stirred up in everyone is rather stunning. The thought of it, accompanied by images of an innocent, sweet baby ravaged by a dog is universally jarring.
Written and posted by Bear's dad, Ross:
Let it be known. Kira is a brute when it comes to animals. I have no quarrel with the dog that bit her. The only reason it deserves to die is so it can be tested for diseases to make sure my daughter is clean. The problem I have, and the reason I am so angry, is that 911 wasn't called when they should have been and the whole situation was downplayed. I don't believe our babysitter is a bad person, however I do believe they made some bad choices that day including not watching a one year old as closely as they needed to, not dialing 9-1-1 when they needed to, and minimizing the situation.
Thank you everybody for your concern about Kira, but please do not contact the babysitter for any reason. Please remember, that they are heartbroken that it happened. Everybody is safe now and it will not happen again.
That post is so spot on, I couldn't have written it better myself. It's almost exactly what I said to the boys, when they asked about it. And they had a lot of questions - like I said, universally jarring.
I have to imagine going from *wanting to avenge her* to actually *acting out on her behalf* was an easier jump than anyone ever faced before (giving everyone an outlet and target for ANY pain and anger they have inside).
However, I personally could never make that leap without consulting the family or victim first. At the end of the day, I wasn't there. I haven't walked in anyone else's shoes, and no one has given me the power to judge. Trust me, I wanted to shoot the dog. But I didn't want to go to jail, and I didn't want to lose my job. And I TOTALLY would have asked for permission first. Clearly I can decipher the difference between an emotional reaction/fantasy of revenge and something that legitimately needs my help or intervention. (Most things DO NOT need my unsolicited help or advice. I know, I think that's crazy, too.)
Honestly, you never know what was going on, and my own dog, shit - ANY dog poses this risk. For all we know, Bear may have been trying to take the dog's eyeballs out of it's head. She's ONE, she's A BABY! Maybe she was trying to find where pee comes out. Anything is possible, and she is a bright, curious little girl. Nothing would shock me. But absolutely - questions like "why the Hell wasn't 911 called ASAP?!" are legitimate and reasonable.
It is STILL not my place to ACT unless I truly thought the actions following a tragic accident were putting an innocent child at risk. Which I know, and anyone who has ever met Stephanie Walker and Ross McClary know, that is not the case here. This is a case of a tragic accident involving a sweet little girl and 2 parents who did and will always do the right thing for their babies (as right as the rest of us anyway....).
Blame is a funny thing. Sometimes it seems so obvious and *true* - but that's not real life. Life is never black and white, there are all those stupid shades in between that make it all muddy. Sometimes when we feel *truth* we can be dead wrong. Ask all the assholes that have been recruited by ISIS. We can sure trick ourselves about righteousness, no doubt about it.
I'm super lucky to have Ross and Steph around. Even when Ross's life long friend, Nate, walked out, we remained my friends. I was scared I wouldn't have anyone around here, but they are always there if I need them. After moving 45 minutes away from my family to a town where I knew NO ONE, they are seriously the next best thing to living by family. Thank you, Ross AND Steph, for being you!
Just sayin, DM
As i read the initial account you posted of the mauling I had the same questions about "why are you calling me and not the ambulance?" Are we becoming so crisis bound that we really don't recognize them anymore or are we afraid of the responsibility falling on us. *meh* I do not know anymore how to read people or understand what or why they do or don't do what used to be considered the only option, in these strange days.
ReplyDeleteYou are right DM Ross had a good response, one not of bitterness or anger, but practical and pragmatic. he sounds like a good man to be friends with.
By the by eventually your post would have shown up on my blog. DMs Domain needed that first "hit" to establish you on TWM. either that or I have you on the "frustrate at all times list."
You are so complex DM, but so easy to care for and love. keep it up OK?